Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
