Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
