my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Randomize