So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I just googled if crying burns calories
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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