no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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