he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
