I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Randomize
