you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Randomize
