I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
