Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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