He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Fuck me I smell like cheese
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