So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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