People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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