I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
