wakey wakey hands off snakey
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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