Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
