ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
