Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
