I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
This is the high leading the old right now
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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