Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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