i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
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