We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
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