I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
