operation have a gay friend backfired
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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