We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
