the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
