I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
