You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Randomize
