When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
