I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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