I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Randomize
