So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
