we're blogging at a bar
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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