Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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We need a shit load of segways right now
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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