that's an acceptable place to lick
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
