What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
