Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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