So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
