I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
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