I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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