We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
This is my gift to your gina
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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