i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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