k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
We left the knife in your bed.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
