Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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