dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
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