Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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