that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
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