I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
