i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I didn't notice because vodka
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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