All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
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