I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Please don't give away my fajitas
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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