We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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