Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
All the doctor said was why
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
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