i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
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