Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
i out mim tonsoeep
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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