your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Randomize
