When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Randomize
