I need help removing her.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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