the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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